TFP Oneshots
by katnlowe
Summary: just random oneshot and story ideas that pop into my head. enjoy! you can make requests in the review section if you like! WARNING!: Humor and Craziness contained inside!
1. Megatron Vs Teenage Girl

**First Encounters**

The Decepticon warship was silent that morning, all of the vehicons going about doing their various tasks and the usual arrogant orders coming from the whiny and almost nasal voice of the Decepticon SIC, Starscream. The tapping of keys could be heard from the silent Communications Chief and Decepticon TIC, Soundwave, as he decoded the iacon database in order to find the coordinates of iacon relics sent to Earth in the war for Cybertron. Overseeing all of the activity going on on his warship, was the mighty "Lord" Megatron, as he'd dubbed himself. He sat upon the steel grey metal throne in the main control room of the ship, looking over a datapad filled with information on the iacon database that Soundwave had uncovered whilst decoding the database for coordinates. It was meager information but information on the Iacon relics nonetheless.

As he was reading, an alert went off from the computer station that Soundwave was currently working at that told him that Soundwave had decoded another set of coordinates. Not trusting anyone but himself to retrieve the one that seemed most promising in helping the Decepticon cause he ordered a troop of flier vehicons to the flight deck and sounded for Soundwave to open up a ground bridge to the specified coordinates. Megatron and the troop of fliers flew threw the swirling green and blue vortex and off to the iacon relic.

~¤Ω¤~

Meanwhile, in her nearly remote, undisturbed cabin home in the mountains, a teenaged girl and her mother were getting ready for the day. It was the weekend, so that meant no school for the girl. However, Jenny's mom, who worked as a CSI for the FBI, had to head to work that morning after being called in about a body that had been found. It didn't bother Jenny that her mother was leaving, she was used to it. When your mother works for the government as a crime scene analyst your bound to have to learn how to spend lengthy amounts of time without a parent around. When she was younger, Jenny had been sent to go stay with her friend, Sam, who lived down the road. But now that she was older and in her mid-teens, Kathy trusted her daughter to stay home alone without getting into any kind of trouble on purpose.

At age sixteen, Jenny had grown out of any kind of urge to explore the large land of woods behind her own backyard. However as bored as she was that Saturday, she gladly took pulled on her converse and put in her earbuds before jogging out her backdoor and jumping over the fence and into the forest behind her house. As she trekked through the mass trees surrounding her, Aerosmith, Jenny's favorite band started to play on the shuffle. She hummed along to Joe Perry's guitar riffs and Steven Tyler's singing as she jumped over a fallen log that was in her path. Jenny knew that there was a cave somewhere ahead and she planned to go there and hang out for a couple of hours before she would head home.

Sure enough, a minute later she could see the mouth of the cave about 50 yards ahead of her current position. There was a stream that ran along the forest floor that she had to jump over in order to get to the actual entrance to the cave. As she jumped from her side of the creek bank to the other, her feet had barely touched the other side of the bank before she slipped in the creek mud that had washed up onto the bank during the rainstorm from the previous night. Her combat boots failed to grip the dirt and Jenny flew back first into the water below her. Sitting up, she spat out the creek water that had gotten into her mouth on the fall and looked down at herself. She was covered completely in mud from her waist down and some had even gotten into her hair. Not to mention that her backside and legs were soaked from the waist down as well. Her shoes she didn't care about. They were, after all, made for hiking.

Grumbling, Jenny stood up from the stream she'd been sitting in and trudged up the river bank and into the mouth of the cave where she set down her jacket after having taken it off. She then sat down on a boulder and pulled off the combat boot and her socks in order to let them air dry. Sighing, Jenny looked down at her phone screen and looked at the time. It was 3:30 already. She pulled off the rucksack she'd brought with her that held water and food for the day. She ate her sandwich in silence until she was done.

Jenny leaned back against a boulder and listened to the sounds of the nature around her. Slowly, but surely, she began to nod off into the lull of sleep.

~¤Ω¤~

The groundbridge opened into a clearing in a heavily wooded area. Megatron and the vehicon fliers landed and transformed before they began to search for the location of the Iacon relic's beacon. The signal was leading them out of the clearing and into the midst of the trees, where there was a small stream of water and a large cave big enough for even Megatron himself to fit into, as long as he crouched down a bit anyway.

~¤Ω¤~

Jenny didn't hear the weird noise of a portal opening in closing. However, what she _did_ hear was the loud crash of something landing on the forest floor and the moans and cracks of the straining trees as if something that was their size or even larger than them, but far _far_ heavier was trudging through them. The earth-shaking crash noise had shaken her from her sleep, but what made her freeze and become alert to her surroundings was the sound of arguing _voices_. Jenny looked down at her phone but realized it had gone dead, and instead then looked at her wristwatch. 7:45 p.m. it said. She'd been asleep for more than four hours. But who the _hell_ other than herself would be out here in the middle of absolutely _nowhere _at this time of night?

Cautiously, Jenny slipped her socks and combat boots on before pulling on her windbreaker, tying up her hair into a messy ponytail, and grabbing her rucksack. She crept towards the entrance to the cave and peered slowly out the opening. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light of dusk and her ears strained to hear, she could tell that whoever was out there was getting very close to where she currently was in the cave opening. Once she could actually see, Jenny crept out from the cave and into the wooded area again before pressing her back to a large pine tree that was wide enough to hide her completely from view on the other side of the tree.

The voices had now gotten very very close and that told Jenny that whoever were the owners of the voices that they were now at the cave mouth opening where she'd just been a few minutes ago. Curiously, Jenny looked around the trunk of the tree and back towards the cave entrance. What she then witnessed was something that then forever changed her life. There, standing in front of the large cave were _giant metal_ beings that made her seem like an ant. One towered above the rest and was a gunmetal grey color with a metal looking face in the breastplate that was colored purple to stand out against the rest of the armor.

She knew that creatures, beings, or whatever the hell these things were that they could easily kill her within a blink of an eye. But stupidly, her brazen mouth didn't agree with her brain on this one.

"Who and what the _hell_ are you and what do you want?"

~¤Ω¤~

[A/N]-

So was this okay? tell me in the comments plz!


	2. Megatron Vs Teenage Girl 2

**Introductions and First Words**

Nothing could have stopped the brazen question that had come out of Jenny's mouth. In fact, its quite possible that nobody could have stopped it regardless, considering Jenny's blunt, straight-to-the-point personality. She told it like it was, and at the moment she truly did want to know who and what had intruded on her sleep. She stared the large metal beings down with every self-determined nerve that she had in her small frame. Alas, it was more of her glaring up at them than anything else. Her breath caught short when the gunmetal grey _robot _looked down at her with a sense of disinterest and an almost arrogant sneer on his cracked and chipped mouth, almost looking like real _scars_. It surprised her, even more, when he _spoke back_ to her.

"And what do we have here?" the giant metal being said. "Oh, its a just one of those disgusting flesh-bags..."

***if you recognized that reference from Trollhunters, then you're now my best friend***

The shock that had frozen Jenny's body and mind was snapped in half as she came back from her thoughts when she'd heard the insensitive and demeaning comment that the metal titan had made about her. Anger slowly started to reverberate its way through her spine and out to the rest of her body.

"Excuse me, what exactly do you mean 'one of those fleshbags'!" she said in an annoyed tone. "Y'know I could care less who you are, but don't you dare go and say something that demeans the entire human race. Some of us are actually quite nice and very interesting, thank you very much!"

The Decepticon leader looked down at her with an almost surprised look. A worthless fleshbag human - that was nothing more to him other than an annoying insect he could crush under his pede - had dared to question him, the mighty leader of the Decepticons, Lord Megatron! No one dared speak to him in that tone even his own followers, knowing that if they even so much as _think_ of attempting to have such a tone with him that they would find themselves becoming one with the Allspark in a sparkbeat! The idea of anyone disrespecting him was just a normal thing that cybertronian knew not to do, lest you wanted to earn yourself a spot on his bad side. But now that it was actually occurring, Megatron almost couldn't believe his audio receptors or optics. Out of any other being that he could think of he honestly didn't think any creature other than an Autobot or anyone who was allied with them would ever seek their doom by speaking to him in such a manner. In the least, it was now safe to say that this femme human now had his attention.

Jenny almost smirked at her achievement when the large, imposing robot's change in demeanor after she finished speaking her thoughts, though somewhat unwillingly. She had a blunt personality and she had told it like it was and what she had said was true: the fact that yes, some humans were bad and did bad things, but most humans were kind and considerate and led honest lives. Just because there was a handful of bad apples in the bunch doesn't mean you should disregard the entire group! It was simply common sense to Jenny, as it was to most people who weren't blind to the truth. Moving on from the previous moment's events, she decided to ask them again why they were here and what they wanted.

"So what was so important that you guys had to come here to the backwoods of a small mountain valley town in Oregon and interrupt my very important nap?" Jenny asked curiously, craning her head up to meet the big robot's gaze.

Megatron looked down at her questioningly, with an almost curious undertone in his optics. Himself and the vehicon fliers that accompanied him were alien to her - not to mention the fact that any of them could simply kill her as if swatting a fly - and the human femme was demanding an explanation for why they had come here of all places and interrupted her _stasis_?

"That is none of your concern, _human_," he sneered. "And you will find that it would be in your best interest to make yourself obsolete from here lest you wish to wind up as a pile of charred ash on the forest floor!"

Megatron then turned towards the Vehicon troopers who had stood there behind him albeit awkwardly and a bit in shock during the conversing between their leader and the human femme. They immediately went from comfortable stances to attention when they realized that their leader had begun to turn back around towards them. The fliers had gone from looking shocked and curious to the menacing looking troopers they were trained to be. Looking almost scared straight, they gazed ahead to their leader as he faced them. But just as Megatron had almost completely turned around, the Vehicon troopers heard the small and defiant human femme speak up once again.

"I have a name you know, and I would prefer you use that instead of 'human'..." Jenny exclaimed.

Megatron's eye's widened and his lip plates twisted into a near snarl as he heard the human femme talk back to him once again in that defiant tone that she for some reason insisted on using that he had always loathed when directed at him. His sharp, talon-like digits curled up as he clenched his servos in annoyance. He slowly turned back to the human femme and looked down at her.

"And why pray tell, might be your designation of any interest to me,little femme?" Megatron questioned her.

"It really is a rather demeaning thing when you refer to someone as their species rather than by the name they were given at birth," Jenny answered immediately. "I believe in equality and the behavior you're presenting to me tells me that you don't."

Megatron looked at the human femme thoughtfully. She believed in some of the same ideals that the Decepticons did, but rather than resort to violence to achieve her goals, she seemed to seek out her goals through peace as his nemesis, Optimus Prime, did. It was admirable, he had to admit at least that. Perhaps he would indulge this strange and determined human femme...

"Very well, what is your designation little femme?" Megatron asked leaning down slightly.

"Jenny," she responded. "What's your name? Or should I continue to refer to you as the giant-metal-robot-dude-who interrupted-my-nap?"

"You will not call me that accursed name!" Megatron objected. "You may call me "Lord Megatron" little femme Jenny."

Jenny ignored the fact that Megatron, who'd immediately been dubbed Megsy in her brain because "Megatron" was too long and boring to remember, continued to call her _little femme_. But, at least he added her actual name to it this time. Deciding that she had accomplished a great enough feat for mankind that night, Jenny resolved that it was time to return to her house for the night.

"Alrighty Lord Mesgy! I have to go home now but maybe we can talk tomorrow if you come back for some reason!" she called over her shoulder as she turned around and headed down the mountain.

Jenny would have done anything to look back at Megatron to see what his face had looked like when she'd called him "Lord Megsy".


	3. Knockout Meets A Sparrow Part 1

**First Sightings**

It was just a regular night in Nevada, and outside of a little town we all know and love, the "entertainment capital of the world", was something very odd yet seemingly normal for the small desert town of Jasper, Nevada. The monthly street race was being held on the outskirts of town, and anyone who had speed thrill complex attended and showed off their pride and joy (i.e their car). One particular racing participant just happened to be a short, fiery-tempered twenty-year-old by the name of Jenny Meyers or "The Deadly Sparrow" as her racing name was. She was small and fast, yet at the same time was deadly in her driving. She almost never lost and race and when she did you never wanted to be present after beating her unless you wanted your ass kicked thoroughly that is.

She was sitting on the hood of her car with a black and red hoodie on with the hood over her head, napping until it was her turn to race. Amazingly, Jenny was able to snooze on even with the constant revving of engines, the laughter of drunken teenagers, and heavy-metal music that played from loudspeakers in the backs of parked cars. To her, all the noise was just a symphony of comforting sounds that she had grown used to. It was almost as if it were her lullaby that lulled her to sleep. However, when the harsh, blaring warning alarm went off that signaled it was time for the next race, Jenny got off the car hood and slid into the vehicle through the open window. She turned the key in the ignition and smirked with a gleam in her eye as the engine of her 1993 Mazda RX-7 with black paint and gold rims roared to life before settling into a soothing purr.

When she pulled up to the starting line, she watched as the skimpy-dressed girl with the flags came and stood in front of the racer's cars. Just before she waved the flag and crouched down to the ground, a cherry red Aston Martin with yellow pin-striping pulled up next to her to the starting line. Jenny glanced at it once, wondering who the late entry was but she found that the driver had tinted his window so no one could see inside the vehicle. She turned her head back to the raceway and prepared to start. The bell rang, the girl waved the flag and they were off.


	4. Shattered Glass AU Part 1

p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"strong[A/N]-/strong/p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"Alright, I know this has definitely been done before and that the Autobots are supposed to switch places with the Decepticons, but I wanted to do this a bit differently. The whole idea will still be the same but I came up with what I think is an original twist, but someone else possibly could have also thought of it. So, if you've seen something similar then I cam only say that great minds must think alike./p  
hr style="color: #000000; font-family: -webkit-standard;" /  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard; text-align: center;"ustrongShattered Glass AU:/strong/ubr /emustrongThe Canon Bots' and Cons' Go To The Shattered Glass Dimension {/strong/u/ememustrongPart 1}/strong/u/em/p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"br /It was happening again. Two groundbridge vortexes had been opened in each other's close proximity before and it had resulted in the human children being sent to a parallel dimension they'd since named the shadow zone. It was essentially a dimension where you could see but not touch the real world. Currently the only being they knew to inhabit the forsaken dimension was the undead husk of the Decepticon known as Skyquake, who was forever trudging around looking for his missing limb. They had successfully rescued the human children the last time due to Miko somehow miraculously forgetting her phone on the catwalk back at base. However this time it was the 'bots themselves who were about to travel out of their world./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"Just as the vortexes were about to come into contact with one another and implode before causing a power surge and exploding, a third groundbridge vortex that none of the surrounding cybertronians -Autobot or Decepticon- recognized appeared into their midst. Everyone stopped battling to peer curiously at the sight, even emOptimus/ememand/ememMegatron/empaused in their dramatic speeches to look at the swirling vortex of unknown origins./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"The two groundbridge portals that had been connecting previously now started to connect with the third vortex that had appeared. Ratchet, who had been called to the scene to repair Arcee on sight, narrowed his cyan blue optics at the scene unfolding before him. He then realized the impending explosion of energy that was going to occur and his optics widened considerably more./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;""Optimus, we must get out of range of the vortex energy explosion," Ratchet yelled to the Prime./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"Optimus nodded to his Chief Medical Officer and started to make his way towards his comrades who had gathered together to make their way away from the coming explosion. Megatron, who had been watching the scene fold out in front of him glared curiously at his enemy's retreating forms. It was then that his own CMO and current head scientist charged up to him./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;""Lord Megatron, my scanners are indicating that the connecting groundbridge vortexes are causing a massive energy surge!" Knockout cried./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"Megatron raised a sharpened optic-ridge in question at his medic's nervous form. In his raspy, commanding voice he replied, "And your diagnosis, Doctor?"/p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;""Run!" the sentient Aston Martin shouted in alarm./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"Megatron's optics swerved back and forth between his troops and the retreating Autobots. He growled lowly under his breath, grinding his dentas together before angrily sounding the retreat to his soldiers. He knew that he and his Decepticons had to get out of the blast radius of the vortexes, but he was a gladiator of the Pits of Kaon and he never surrendered. He loathed doing so./p  
p style="font-family: -webkit-standard;"The three surging vortexes had gotten noticeably brighter since the third had appeared and started connecting to the original two. Then finally, the massive energy surge imploded and exploded, bathing the surrounding battle zone in a brilliant white light. Unfortunately, both the Autobots and Decepticons were not far enough from the blast radius and they all were caught in the explosion before they too were enveloped and blinded by the light./p 


End file.
